A Miracle!

It was an unappreciatedly warm and sunny afternoon today while my retarded uncle and I were in the front yard cleaning the grass like we do every month.

My uncle is convinced that digging up the grass in patches and rubbing the dirt out of the roots is necessary to keeping a healthy lawn.

Anyway, I noticed that there was something interesting about one of the patches of grass that my uncle mercilessly ripped out of the ground. Something that, frankly, left me speechless.. Here, just see for yourself what I found:





Do you see it? How about now?



Clearly, this is a sign from God. He is trying to tell us, in his own mysterious and easily overlooked way, that we should not fear, for he is sending his grass angels to guide us.

APRIL FOOLS!!!
God doesn't exist, dumbasses! Even my retarded uncle knows that!