A Miracle!

It was an unappreciatedly warm and sunny afternoon today while my retarded uncle and I were in the front yard cleaning the grass like we do every month.

My uncle is convinced that digging up the grass in patches and rubbing the dirt out of the roots is necessary to keeping a healthy lawn.

Anyway, I noticed that there was something interesting about one of the patches of grass that my uncle mercilessly ripped out of the ground. Something that, frankly, left me speechless.. Here, just see for yourself what I found:





Do you see it? How about now?



Clearly, this is a sign from God. He is trying to tell us, in his own mysterious and easily overlooked way, that we should not fear, for he is sending his grass angels to guide us.

APRIL FOOLS!!!
God doesn't exist, dumbasses! Even my retarded uncle knows that!

I'm sorry, John.

Can you guess the word?

A small child with mass 5kg is launched by a spring with a constant of 150N/m at a 45-degree angle from the ground a distance d = 50m away from a pond of hideous hand puppets posing as crocodiles.
How far does the spring need to be compressed to ensure that the child lands safely in the pond?

From this figure, determine:

a) The minimum coefficient of static friction between the polar bears' paws and the icy surface of the glacier in order to prevent the them from sliding.

b) How the hell did this happen?